How much are you?

Yesterday I was sitting at my desk not doing anything important and Caleb came in and said, "Nana, how much are you?" I said, "I don't know. Probably alot." Then he came with a tape measure and said, "Nana, I want to measure you." OH HECK NO you are not. You get outa here.

So since it was raining cats and dogs and we didn't have anything to do, we just went outside and played in the puddles for a while.

OK so that was fun for a while.

Then we came in and changed clothes and decided to rearrange the pantry in the basement.
I have decided that if we are in a deep depression and we can't buy food, I have enough food to feed a small village for a month.

Somebody slap me if I go to Costco and buy any more peanut butter or brownie mix. I almost feel like Dr Phil is going to do a show on hoarding and he is going to be knocking on my door.

Sunday dinner

Almost every Sunday all the kids and grandkids come out for dinner. I really like it when they do. I am making a recipe from my friend Diane for dinner. She calls it "Chalupa."

It is really easy and it smells so good when it is cooking.

You need:

1 lb of dry pinto beans

3-4 lb pork roast

6 cups water

1/2 cup chopped onion

1 T cumin

1 tsp oregano

1 4 0z can diced chilies

1 8 oz can tomatoe sauce

2 cloves minced garlic

1 T salt

2 T chili powder

Place the pinto beans in the bottom of a heavy pan and then place the roast on top. Then just pile everything on top in order. Cover and bake in 325 oven for 5 to 6 hours. Should be moist but not runny. Remove any fat. With forks, break up meat for filling burritos or taco's.

This is super easy and goes a long way. ( Well..... not if Louis is here: ) I think we will have spanish rice and virgin margarita's. Hmmmmm what should I fix for dessert?

This is what I do when I get bored, I read recipe books. I just got a new one, I think I will go to bed and read it.

Possitive Attitude

I have been given an assignment to write down for 21 days in a journal five possitive achievements that I do each day. Then write the reason why you did it, further progress and specific actions. Well, let me tell you this is harder than I thought. All along I thought that I had a good attitude and was a positive person. But when you have to record things, maybe I am not quite sure that I am as possitive as I thought. Getting on the treadmill is possitive. Crossing off things on my list of things I don't want to do is possitive. Spending time with my kids is possitive. But what else do I do? This is harder than I thought and is giving me a bad attitude (not really) but it makes me think that I need to do more things to be a possitive person. I am really working on this.

Yesterday the sun was shining and that alone made me happy. We got to go outside and plant primroses.

Casey helped trim the apple trees and spray them.

The little guys rode bikes and played

and made funny faces. Sunshine makes everyone happy.

Wait!! Connor that isn't nice.

There, that's better.

My Forever Valentine

With valentines day just a day or two away I was feeling a little sad that I wouldn't be getting chocolates or roses or love notes from Jay. Then it dawned on me that I have lots of them stashed away in my cedar chest in my bedroom. So I went up there and took all the "treasures" off the top of the chest and opened it up. There inside was a little box filled with letters that Jay sent to me when I was still in high school and he was in college.

When I was in high school I took a wood shop class. My brother was in the same class. I always thought that what I made was cooler than what he made. This is a little wooden box that I made in that class.

When Jay went to college he would send me letters and I would save all of them inside that box.

Boy, I'm glad that I did. It was so cool to look at them and read them.

I really did get valentines this year!!! And I will take them out every year and smile and be glad that I have them.

I guess he really did love me. After all, he was in college, playing football and still taking the time to write love letters to me.

It's funny because my mom worked at the post office in the little town where we lived and on the front of the envelopes it would only say my first name and the name of the town with the zip code and I would still get it. (Thanks mom)

When I hear songs on the radio singing about loving someone, it doesn't make me sad. It makes me glad that I had that. Jay was my love song. He still is my love song. He always will be.

We lived our love song. He made all my dreams come true.

Happy Valentines Day my friends. Hold the one you love a little tighter. Write them a love note. Let them know how much they mean to you. Not just because it's Valentines Day but just because.

He hung the moon

This past week-end was the anniversary of the day of Jay's accident. As that day approached, we wondered what should we do? We had lots of family coming to be with us. I kept asking Stacy, what do we do? As it turned out, we do nothing. Just being together was what we needed to do. They needed us as much as we needed them. We hung out together, we laughed, we cried, we hugged and we loved each other. That's just what we do.
Tonight I went down to Mindy and Louis's house for a little while. On the way home I turned off the radio so I could just talk to Jay and to God. I thanked God for giving me the most awesome family and friends. I couldn't get thru a single day without them. I talked to Jay like he was sitting there in the car with me. Even tho he doesn't answer, I know he still hears me. And then as I drove home, I looked up and saw the most amazing moon.

It seemed like it was right above my house. I always thought that Jay hung the moon and tonight he put it right above home for me.

All My Love, All My Life

Who can say for certain

Maybe you're still here

I feel you all around me

Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness

I can hear you speak

You're still an inspiration

Can it be? That you are mine

Forever love

And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are

Beyond the distant star, I wish upon

tonight to see you smile. If only for awhile to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping here inside my dream and isn't faith believing all power can't be seen?

As my heart holds you, just one beat away, I cherish all you gave me everyday..Cause you are mine, forever love, watching me from up above. And I believe that angels breathe. And that love will live on and never leave. Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star. I wish upon tonight to see you smile, if only for awhile to know that you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are. I know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.

Big boy, little toys

When Taylor was little he would play for hours with his trucks. On his 4th birthday we got a dump truck load of top soil delivered just for him.

One summer he and I went to the farm store and bought a bag of grass seed.

He would plow his fields and make them just perfect and plant the grass seed.

After a couple of weeks the grass would come up and he would plow it up and start over again. His favorite thing to do was to go to the John Deere store and buy a new tractor or impliment.

He loved that stuff. Yesterday I had a meeting in town. When I came home Taylor was on the big Cat pushing dirt down by the shop. He was getting it smoothed out so we can get gravel. He will be driving the dump truck to get the gravel, too. He is really good on all the equipment.
Later last night after dinner he went up and took a shower. I didn't see him again. So when I went up to bed I popped in to say goodnight and saw him.

This big boy in his underwear sitting on the floor in his room. He was talking on his cell phone to Brandi and playing with all his little tractors and equipment. He just looked up with a silly smile on his face. He said hey mom, check this out!!!

He wanted me to see how his farm was set up just like he did when he was little. I had to come and get my camera and take a few pictures. He made me promise not to show you him in his underwear. Gotta love that boy!!

Distractions

It's been almost a year since the accident. I have been telling myself that "that day" won't be any harder than any other day this past year. Parts of every day are hard. I think of Jay so many times every day, how will one day be any harder? But as that day approaches I do feel different. I think of Jay and Riley and Steve even more than usual. How could it be a whole year ago? I can tell you every detail of that day. The phone call, the shock, the pain. Sometimes still my brain doesn't want to believe it. My heart will never believe it. I remind myself every day that this is just temporary. I used to hate for time to pass by so fast, now I don't. Even tho I am happy to be where I am, doing what I do, I look forword to being one day closer to being with him again. I am so thankful for family and friends that care so much about us. Man, am I glad to have the support and love that they give.


God has been putting distractions in my way lately to keep me busy thinking of other things. This weekend the toilet was plugged and we had company and we couldn't get it fixed. Finially, this morning we got that taken care of. Last night I went to put something in the freezer in the garage and found everything thawed out. The freezer had quit. What a mess. I had to throw out a turkey and a bunch of venison, a 30 pound box of blueberries and some other things. Today our computer decided to quit! RRrrrrrrrrrr!


The sun did shine today and we got to spend time out in the yard cleaning leaves and debri left from the storms. I think I could work out there for a month straight and never be finished. It is nice to see the daffodills starting to come up. The aphids have been enjoying my roses in the greenhouse. I had to put a stop to that.


Another distraction is the Grange soup dinner this coming Sunday. We have been members of the grange for over 30 years. Almost everyone at this grange is old. I'm one of the youngest ones by a bunch of years. Some of the members are in their 90's. They have cute names like Vesper and Eugenia and Edna. There was Ruth and Bernice and Mary. There is a guy named Guy and an other one named Bill Williams. (Do you think his first name is really William too?) They are all so sweet and I love helping them with things. I have been helping them with this fund raiser for quite a few years. I have all the decorations ready. I will show you pictures when I get them all done. I have bought most of the supplies and groceries. All we have to do is set things up on Saturday, decorate and pick up a few more things. Then on Sunday we will cook and serve around 200-250 people. Jay's mom and dad and his brother and sister-in-law will be here to help me. My kids will help, too. Thank God for family and thank God for distractions.