Right after Jay's accident I remember saying "I can't do this. I can't go on without him." But I remember when Jay was coaching his girls in softball, whenever they would say, "I can't", he would say "can't shouldn't even be a word. You can. Won't is a word, but can't isn't. If you want to do something bad enough then you can. " That's the way he did everything. He never thought that he couldn't do anything. There are things that I don't want to do and things that I don't like to do. I just have to remember that I can do them. I read something that said, aerodynamically the bee should not be able to fly. It's wings are too small and it's body is too large. But it doesn't know it's impossible for it to fly, so it just flies anyway. The story goes, that like the bee, women do the impossible all the time because they don't know they can't. It was sure a lot easier when he made the big decisions and I took care of the small ones. It was sure a lot more fun with him by my side. But I can get thru this. I know that I can.