Sunday, March 30, 2008

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I believe in love at first sight. I met Jay when I was a freshman in highschool. I lived forty-five miles from the highschool and it was the first day of volleyball practice. We had just got finished with practice and the football team was finishing practice also. There he was. The hottest guy I ever saw. He looked at me and smiled and it was love from then on. That was so long ago. We dated all thru highschool. We even shared the same birthday. This year we would be married 30 years. We have had so much fun and such good memories. I have decided to make my own rules and I say that we will still be married in Heaven. Even if I don't get there for a while, I want to be the same age as now. I don't want him to stay the same and me to get old.
I found a poem yesterday at a yard sale of all places. It was kinda wierd that it was there. Almost as if it was meant for me to see. It said. How long will we have together, to share a loving touch, a warm soft smile? Only the passing of days, weeks, or perhaps years will give me the answer I'm not looking for. In knowing you I'll take what I know, share something new, grow some more. I'll offer you the same, something new, a little more. Our sharing will be an exchange of gifts, permitted by desire and not forgotten through time. And if, as seasons pass, I see you no more, I'll not ask why or become dismayed. I'll be content with what we shared, with what you gave. Strengthened and free, your gifts have nourished me, I've become a better person, I hope I've left you the same. Keeping your gifts, forever free, they will remain gently within, a special part of me.
I really feel that way. I think he made me a better person and I did him as well. I really do thank God everyday for the awesome time that He gave us together. And I know that this is just temporary and we will be together again some day. Some people don't get to experience that kind of love even for a little while and we were able to have it for thirthy some years. Just thinking about it makes me smile.
I have been blessed.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I am not alone:)

Sorry about not updating my blogg lately. I have had non stop company since February 8th. I have not been alone, that is for sure. Usually there is at least 8 to 10 people here every day sometimes more. Not just drop by to say hi people but stay for a few days people. Everyone is sooo nice and just wants to help in some way if only just to be here. I love each and every one of them and am happy that they are here. In my previous life, before the accident, I cooked and cleaned and shopped and did all the usual mom things. In my new life I have waaaaayyyyy tooo much to do. I don't know how to do it all. If only I would have paid more attention. Please don't forget about me. When I get my new act together I still want to do the things that made me who I was. Love you all. Tata for now. Gotta go fix breakfast for 7 or so and then off to a couple of baseball games down the road 2 hours to sit in the rain and freeze. Sounds fun, huh.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Good Morning

crossed legsDo you ever sit in a chair and cross your legs? I do that a lot. Every time I cross my right leg over my left leg. It is just natural for me to do it this way. If I try to do it the other way it just feels awkword. That is how my life feels right now. I can do it, it just feels wierd. When I talk about my life now it seems like I am talking about someone else. My life used to be pretty close to perfect. Now I do all the things that I used to do but it isn't the same. The best part is when I look around me I see Jay everywhere. I look at Stacy working in the office and I see Jay. So smart, so busy and so determined to do things right. She wants to make him so proud. And she has. Then I look at Mindy. So cute and so sweet. She isn't even working on her wedding plans cuz she wants to fuss over me. She is so funny and makes me laugh just like her dad. I look at Casey and I see Jay. So intellegent and such a smart wit. He looks and acts alot like his dad. Every day I take Taylor to school and we have to take Jay's pickup. Taylor loves his dad and he looks and acts so much like him. He washes his pick up and keeps it clean. I love these four blessing Jay and I made and am so thankful that they are here with me.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

The Journey

Last night I started reading a new book by Billy Graham called The Journey. It is so very interesting and true. This is one of the few first pages.

Life is a journey. Like every other journey, it has a starting point. You had no choice about it, of course, any more than you had a choice about your parents or the color of your eyes or your race or gender. But the minute you were born you embarked on a journey- the journey of life.

And like every other journey, it has an end. It may come suddenly and unexpectedly, or after years of declining health- but it will come, and like your birth, you'll have no choice about it. You can ignore it or laugh at it, but that won't change its inevitability. A wise poet once said that death comes equally to us all and makes us all equal when it comes.

But like every othe journey, it also has a middle- and that is our real journey: those years between our birth and our death.

You only make this journey once. Why not make the most of it?

That is what Jay did and that is what I want to do too. I am so glad that God put you and me on this earth at the same time so that are paths crossed. I am glad you are on this journey with me. Love you all, Pam

Friday, March 14, 2008

Point of Grace - HOW YOU LIVE

Please check out this song I found....I love it and wanted to share it with you! I believe all of the lyrics are so true. I hope we all learn how to live this way. :)

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Please make it stop.

I really need all of your positive messages and encouragement. Every day I read a little bit of something to make me know that life will be ok. I know that there will be very hard times. I know I will not "get over it," but with God's grace I will "get through it." Yesterday morning I got up early and came to my desk. There was an awesome picture of Jay looking right at me. As I sat there for a minute looking at him, the electricity went off in the house. It was only for about 5 seconds and then came back on. I was sure it was just him saying good morning.

Later yesterday as I was running errands, Stacy called me and told me that another very good friend was killed in an equipment accident. Josh was the son of a good friend of mine who died of cancer a few years ago. Please pray for Josh and his family.