Taylor's 16th Birthday

Where is Taylor and who is this man? It seems like he should still be playing with his trucks in the dirt pile.

Sometimes things work out well. Sometimes life is good. Like you're given a son to care for and love. So you try to bring him up well, to let him know how important he is to you. And before you know it, he's and adult, looking you in the eye and grinning with that smile that comes straight from the heart. And you think to yourself, "Hey, he turned out good." And your own heart fills up with love again. Happy Birthday to a good man and a wonderful son. Love you Taylor, Mom.

Memorial Day Weekend

This past weekend my family and friends came to help me out. They usually go to a little lake in southern Oregon near their home to camp. This year they decided to come to my house, camp trailers and motor homes and all, to help with projects. We started to scrape and paint the old grange hall where Mindy's wedding will be in August. The day started out damp so we waited till later to start.


My mom entertained the little ones.








Pretty soon it started to rain.












So we cussed it and discussed it and decided to save it for another dryer day. Instead, we would go back to camp (my yard) and eat and sing and be stupid.

We ate and sang kareokee and had a great time. There were games and prizes. It was so fun. Then there was an awesome sunset. What a great way to end the day. God is good.

My awesome purse.

This is my awesome purse that my kids got for me for mothers day. I love it. It has one of my favorite pictures of Jay on it. This picture was taken in Alaska when we were fishing for sockeye salmon on the Kenai River. He always catches the biggest and the most so when he hooked this baby we took his picture. He was good at everything, fishing, hunting, anything he did was the coolest.

Exactly where I want to be

Last Monday I had to go to La Paz Mexico for personal business. We had bought property there and I needed to do paperwork. (usually Jay would have done this) Tho it was nice and warm I can tell you that I was so happy to come home. To me it is like wearing shoes that are too little. After a long day when you can take them off it feels so good. That is how it is with me. After being gone from home, doing something I would rather not do, being home is exactly where I want to be. It feels so good. I think I must not be normal because I was even happy to clean house, cook food, do laundry and all the other things I do at home. My bed felt better. Even my lawn that is just starting to come up made me happy. Going out and about for a day is nice but being home with the ones I love is the best.

what got into me?

Every day I ask the Lord to help me be strong, make wise decisions and be a nice mom. Well, I don't know what got into me last week. One day I was at Taylor's baseball game and I wasn't happy with the amount of time he had spent lately on the bench. So I thought about talking to his coach about it . As I sat there thinking about what to say I thought I would either sound stupid or start crying. But I needed to stick up for Taylor so I did it. We talked. Or I should say, I talked and he listened. Baseball season ended Friday so I don't think it mattered but Taylor knew that I did what good moms do and I stuck up for him. Then I had an issue a couple days later with a guy that is buying a house from us. He was being a jerk about the fence. So I went to the house and stood up to him and told him what I thought and eventually he saw things my way and all is well now. Then... I had to fire the yard maintanence crew at the condo's. They just weren't getting the job done that I was paying them to do. See, I don't know what got into me. I think I should take a chill pill and go plant some flowers or something.

I can do it.

Right after Jay's accident I remember saying "I can't do this. I can't go on without him." But I remember when Jay was coaching his girls in softball, whenever they would say, "I can't", he would say "can't shouldn't even be a word. You can. Won't is a word, but can't isn't. If you want to do something bad enough then you can. " That's the way he did everything. He never thought that he couldn't do anything. There are things that I don't want to do and things that I don't like to do. I just have to remember that I can do them. I read something that said, aerodynamically the bee should not be able to fly. It's wings are too small and it's body is too large. But it doesn't know it's impossible for it to fly, so it just flies anyway. The story goes, that like the bee, women do the impossible all the time because they don't know they can't. It was sure a lot easier when he made the big decisions and I took care of the small ones. It was sure a lot more fun with him by my side. But I can get thru this. I know that I can.

They get it!!

The first few days following Jay's accident I found myself wondering , "why him?" I remember sitting in church looking at an old couple thinking , "why not him instead?" They look like they had been married a long time. Why did God take Jay and end my happiness? But then I thought how rude of me to think like that. After a while I stopped thinking like that and started thinking of how good my life was. Jay always made me happy. Sometimes it was just a look or a smile that made me feel loved. Now when I see other couples I am not jealous of their happiness. It makes my heart smile when they "get it." Sometimes it is just a wink or a touch. At the baseball game the other day, Joe stood behind Teri's chair. His hand on her shoulder. It made my heart smile to see their gentle affection. Or when I was talking to Shane and asked where was Ronna? He said, "Oh, Peach? She is getting her hair cut." He always calls her Peach. That is his sweet name for her. How cute is that? They really love each other. I like it when I see people who love each other and show it. It makes me happy. They get it! Don't ever miss an opportunity to love someone. Let them know how special they are. Have fun. Laugh. Do things together. Your happiness makes me happy. I even smile when I read someones blog that I don't even know and they are going out on a special date. I thank God for all the fun times I had with Jay. And I am thankful that he wasn't afraid to tell me or show me that he loved me. I'm so glad we got it. I hope you get it too!