Thursday, March 20, 2008

Good Morning

crossed legsDo you ever sit in a chair and cross your legs? I do that a lot. Every time I cross my right leg over my left leg. It is just natural for me to do it this way. If I try to do it the other way it just feels awkword. That is how my life feels right now. I can do it, it just feels wierd. When I talk about my life now it seems like I am talking about someone else. My life used to be pretty close to perfect. Now I do all the things that I used to do but it isn't the same. The best part is when I look around me I see Jay everywhere. I look at Stacy working in the office and I see Jay. So smart, so busy and so determined to do things right. She wants to make him so proud. And she has. Then I look at Mindy. So cute and so sweet. She isn't even working on her wedding plans cuz she wants to fuss over me. She is so funny and makes me laugh just like her dad. I look at Casey and I see Jay. So intellegent and such a smart wit. He looks and acts alot like his dad. Every day I take Taylor to school and we have to take Jay's pickup. Taylor loves his dad and he looks and acts so much like him. He washes his pick up and keeps it clean. I love these four blessing Jay and I made and am so thankful that they are here with me.


Teresa Is Awesome! said...

Good morning. I'm just the opposite, I cross left over right. I just happened to have them crossed when I read your email. You and Jay had a wonderful relationship and created four beautiful and intellgent children. Jay was very proud of all five of you! Cody always has fun and has a sense of humor. Not sure were he gets his humor! Thanks for helping Cody with a job, he needs one. If he does get one in Salem you never know he may buy that house from Casey.
Love Teresa

Miss Mindy said...

Mom. This was on Whitney Olson's myspace blog, I thought it was neat.

The following was written in a funeral program of a dear loved one:

When the road gets the best of me. My mind recalls a picture of a place that I call home. You are there in my memory, a scene that's so familiar, that it chills me to the bone, but I'll stay out here where I belong. For the call is telling me to carry on, and while I'm away I can dream and suddenly you're there.

Love finds you, love brings you to me. And once again we walk together. Love finds you, love brings you to me And binds the hands of time forever. We may be worlds apart but you are never too far from where I need you to be. Love finds you, love brings you to me.

It was not what we planned to be. We all would change the ending if the choice was ours to make for you left us so suddenly but it's only the beginning for eternity awaits. And I'll never forget you my friend for the brotherhood between us has no end. But while you're away I can dream and suddenly you're there.

Through the fire of the journey, through the good and through the bad you are not alone. And through each and every turn of life, through the seasons of your path I want you to know wherever you go love finds you, love brings you to me and once again we walk together.

Auntie Joy said...

Hi Pam,
I know how you are feeling, for years I felt like I wasn't living my "real" life.. So strange..I felt like I was having an identity crisis..hard to explain if you haven't been there. Nothing feels right, it can be happy, it can be good just "off". There is no way to get the feeling to go away, but it does get fainter with time.
I am praying for all of you, and hope you have a blesssed Easter.

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

Just found you via another blog and wanted to say that it is always sobering for me to read about circumstances like this, where life went from nearly perfect to "different". It is so easy to take nearly "perfect" (which seems so far from it at the time) for granted. Thanks for sharing your journey...

Blessings to you this weekend,