Friday, September 19, 2008

Fixing a broken heart

The last couple of days I have been out of town in a hospital with my mother and father in law. He had to have a new pace maker put in and a new wire connected to his heart. Casey and I went there to sit with Jay's mom so she wouldn't be alone. I was glad to be there with them. I love them to pieces. He is doing pretty good today and so we decided to come home. He should get to go home tomorrow. While I was there I was thinking. If this doctor can put a little machine inside your chest to make your heart work properly maybe I should ask him if he can fix mine. You see, my heart isn't working quite right either. Since Jay has been gone it just isn't the same. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes when I hear his pickup pull up in front of the house, it skips a beat. Sometimes when it's nice outside and I hear a airplane fly by it beats faster. When I think about this Christmas tree harvest coming up it feels like my heart gets too anxious and scared. I wonder if there is anything that Mr. Doctor can do for me. Maybe it's just an over full heart. Full of love and gratitude. Maybe it's the doctors boss that I should be talking to. God, thank you for this heart of mine. Fill it with love and thanks. Give it a good dose of confidence and please show me the way to get thru each day.

3 comments:

Auntie Joy said...

Yes my dear friend I hear clearly what you are saying..
I had to actually go to the doctor because I kept feeling like I was having a heart attack, but it wasn't, just a broken heart.. Wish I had a magic pill but there isn't one, just your wonderful memories and family to get you through.
Love you,
JOY

Sharon said...

Oh, I am so sorry. What a great post. This is so true how your heart would flutter when you hear his truck or hear a plane. I am so sorry for your loss and your broken heart. I pray that the Lord will help heal it quickly.

My prayers are with you.

Love, Sharon

High Desert Diva said...

This post Pam...so touching.

My heart broke when my grandmother died in January. A different love, than that for a husband. But very strong all the same.

Two days ago, I answered the phone and heard my grandmother's voice say hello. It was my sister...but my heart broke just a little bit more.

And this too shall pass, right?