Sunday, January 25, 2009

I just want to know

There seems to be a place to find what ever you want to know. If you want a recipe for baklava, you just Google it and you will get lots of recipes to choose from. Google anything you want. It can be a cure for hiccups or an answer to why birds fly south in the winter. If you have a gardening or farming question, just look it up in the Farmers Almanac. The answers are there. If you look in the back of the math book you can find answers like how two negative numbers make a positive number. If you are looking for an address you can map quest it and it will tell you how to get somewhere. There are even GPS devices by Magellan and Garmen that go in your car so you can always find your way. You can call 411 and they can help you if you need information. There is information everywhere if you know where to look for it. But I have questions about Heaven that I just don't know. If you haven't been there, how do you know for sure what it is like? Do they eat, do they sleep? Can they see us? Can they hear us when we talk to them? Do they know how much we love them and miss them? We can only imagine what it is like. I just want to know for sure. I know what I read but if you can't go there and come back then how do you know for sure? I know they say that it is more beautiful than you can imagine. They say that you are never sad, the only tears will be tears of joy. I know that Heaven is where I want to be someday. But for now I just want to know for sure. The other night when the boys were saying their prayers, Connor said "God please tell Paw that we love him. And God, can you give him a really nice mattress so he can sleep good?" How sweet was that? We just want to know, do they sleep? I pray he does and that he is comfortable and that he knows how much we love him.


IrishEyesAreSmiling said...

I read a book once that seemed to answer that question for me...Its by John Edward and its called "After Life" Answers from the Other Side. I LOVE IT. I have read it about three times and it just seems to comfort me...just thought I would tell you about might really like it!

BittersweetPunkin said...

I imagined it would be something like that movie "What dreams May Come"...but not as bizarre.

What a sweet prayer from the wee one...


Sharon said...

I have had the same questions. I think we just need to have faith. It is better than this world, but it hard for our brains to understand it. I am sure your husband is in a better place and he is probably excited for the day he gets to see you again.

Halo Hill said...

I believe they can hear us and see us, and that they are happy even though we are so heartbroken. They know this is just a small time here, and that we'll be with them soon and for eternity. I believe that we get to live in the "Many mansions" that He is preparing for us, and I think the mattresses are comfortable. Your precious little angel boy wondering that about his Paw. What a big heart he has and what a strong love for his Grandpa.

I found a quote a few months ago. It is from a song by the Waterboys, and unfortunately I don't know who they are, but here is the lyric: "I'll keep your picture near, I'll hold your memory dear, until I meet you in heaven again."

You're doing a great job, you seem so very strong to me, physically, emotionally and spiritually. You are putting one foot in front of the other and you are "keeping on". I don't think I could do the same, so I hope you take a minute now and then to be proud of yourself. You are hero to a lot of people.

Hold your babies tight, breathe them in, feel them and the parts of them that are Jay. When I am hurting, holding and just breathing them into myself gives me such strength. Do you know what I mean?

I will keep you in my prayers. I am so very sorry.